


Finn's Awakening

by seratonation



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cuddles, F/M, Feelings, Gen, Hugs, Pre-OT3, could be shippy for the above, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 21:10:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5601082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seratonation/pseuds/seratonation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey asks why. Poe says how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finn's Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first foray into Star Wars, and my first fic in months where it hasn't felt like pulling teeth.
> 
> Here's hoping the rest of the year goes so well :D I have so much I want to wrote for them still!

“Why did you do it?” Rey asked in the quiet darkness. She was nestled into his chest, her arms around him and her head tucked under his chin. 

Finn breathed in, as if to steel himself. “I saw my friend die.” He shifted under her, “as much as you could call anyone a friend there. He was in my squad, we called him Slip.”

“He was like your brother,” she said.

“Maybe that's a better name for it, I was there as he died, his blood on my hands,” he said, “and it was like I woke up from this dream into a nightmare, and I knew I should want to kill those people, but they were defenceless. I just didn't see why, none of us asked for this, not the troopers, or the villagers.”

“That's why Maz…” Rey started but trailed off.

He nodded. “She said I wanted to run, and I did, I wanted to.”

Rey smiled even though he couldn't see her face. “That's when I got myself captured.”

He let out a soft huff, amused. 

“I'm glad you came back for me,” she said, “despite everything that's happened.”

His grip on her shoulder tightened briefly. “Me too.”

***

Finn and Poe were pressed up against each other one evening, going over reports from the last mission. It was Finn’s first since he was injured, but it went off without a hit, thankfully.

“You know I saw you,” Poe said suddenly. 

Finn gives him a sidewise glance. There was something off about his voice.

“Saw me?” he asked, he was starting to feel like Captain Phasma was standing right behind him. 

“At the village, before we met, the ‘trooper that you ran to, that died,” Poe waved a hand in front of Finn’s face, and Finn instantly knew the gesture. He wanted to back away, to deny everything but he couldn't, this was Poe, and he knows more than the others.

It turns out he knew more than Finn had thought he did. “I never fired my weapon,” Finn said, “I couldn't I- that's why I needed to get off the ship, Phasma was testing my weapon, that's-”

“Hey, hey,” Poe said, shifting to put his arms around Finn, pulling him into a hug, “it's okay, it's okay, I know alright? I saw you,” he pulled back but didn't take his hands off Finn’s shoulders. “I have to tell you something.”

Finn blinked at him. This was new.

“I saw you because it was me,” he let go and looked away, “Finn, it was me that killed your friend, that's why I was surprised you wanted to help me.”

Finn sat still for a while longer, processing, then pulled Poe into another hug. “You're the reason,” he said, “you're the reason I didn't want to be a trooper anymore.”

“What?” Poe pulled away and looked at him in confusion, his brow furrowed. This was obviously not the reaction he had been expecting. 

“I told Rey,” he said slowly, “I told her that the moment I woke up was when Slip died.”

“Slip?” Poe asked looking even more guilty, “I'm sorry Finn, I should've told you before and if this changes things-” 

“No Poe, you don't understand,” Finn said, smiling, “you saved me, just like Slip did, just like Rey, you just didn't know you were doing it at the time, and then you never stopped.”

Poe finally smiled at that. “And I never will,” he promised.

**Author's Note:**

> ['Slip' comes from this post on tumblr,](http://yourethehellisbucky.tumblr.com/post/136305140461/hobbitkaiju-deerthing-nerdgerhl-fatcr0w) which in turns comes from the Star Wars novel Before the Awakening.


End file.
